Life

    LATELY, it seems the norm around here looks a lot like this.  If someone dropped by unannounced chances are likely that one child would greet you at the door in his birthday suit while I come trailing behind, holding the other while he has a mid-life crisis.  There would be toys all over the living room, dishes in the sink, and overflowing laundry baskets.  Your feet might stick to my kitchen floor, so use the front door.  I try to remind myself this is a season, but sometimes I just don't feel like a good-enough mama.  I try not to add up my self-worth from my children, but when they consistently defy how I handle things, I start to question my own judgment.  This sets me up for a tailspin of going over all the ways I feel like I am not succeeding as a parent. 

    I know this is just a season, but parts of just suck.  I want to try to enjoy them in the midst of the suckiness.  I want to really soak up every piece of life they have to offer.  I want my heart to be in a spot where I can help guide theirs.  I don't want the meltdowns and defiance to throw me for a spin.  I want to be able to love them more through it all.  I want to focus on the main point, which is loving Jesus, rather than getting caught up in petty things. 

    People have a tendency to only share their highlights on social media.  And I totally get it, because that's exactly what I do.  But I want to do it differently, although from an outsiders perspective it will probably look the same.  When I share things I want it to be with intention.  I want to intentionally engage with my children more.  I want to intentionally guide their hearts.  I want to listen to them better and understand how God made them and appreciate their uniqueness.  I am supposed to be an example of what God's love is like, so I choose to love.

    What's not to love anyway? Once I stop focusing on the crazy stuff, I am captivated by their beauty. Their smiles and laughter. And how their little arms wrap around my neck. I never want to lose sight of theses things.